Penniless Outsider Who Adapted Well To A Life Of Great Wealth And Privilege

Into each life, some rain must fall – Longfellow

Alas! And so it was that Philip Batterburger sacrificed the dream he never actually had of a career in the navy, to marry a princess and endure forever after, a life of pomp and privilege in a fairytale castle!

Although immediately made a Lord (and subsequently a prince), although waited upon hand and foot, day and night, although condemned to travel the world first class and meet powerful leaders and famous public figures at every twist and turn, he never once complained.

Except for when he complained.

He always, as the archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby so beautifully put it, displayed a “remarkable willingness to take the hand he was dealt in life”.

“When we think of his exemplary sacrifice,” Welby concluded, “we may be forgiven for wanting to whip the poor for being so wicked and ungrateful”.

“This is the wonderful advantage the Great British poor have over the poor of other countries”, Boris Johnson added, “no matter how bad things get, they still have a magnificently wealthy royal family to wave at.”