People Who Clap When The Plane Lands Unable To Distinguish Between Paediatricians And ‘Peedeeyafiles’

A new study has found that people who clap when the plane lands are a special group who suffer from a distinct range of disadvantages in life.

Among these are the inability to distinguish between TV characters and the actors who play them.

Almost 77% agreed the Downton Abbey character Lord Grantham, played by Hugh Bonneville, was ‘pure evil no matter what he’s called’.

A total of 91%, were found to have the reading age of an 8 year old.

When asked if they agreed that ‘people should be informed about paediatricians living in their neighbourhoods’, 87% said they did.

A further 11% agreed but strongly objected to ‘calling them paediatricians when they’re only filth’.

Almost 88% agreed that ‘Buy 1, Get 1 Free!’ supermarket promotions, offer the best value.

The survey was carried out amongst those EasyJet passengers queueing for a 9am flight to Alicante who’d had less than six drinks.