Hunter Biden Prosecution Risks Undermining Public Faith In Conspiracy Theories

Senior republicans are privately warning the prosecution of Hunter Biden, along with the President’s guarantee that he will not pardon his son if he is found guilty, is eroding the public’s faith in absurd conspiracy theories “of the kind we now specialise in”.

“We’ve really fucked ourselves in the ass with this one. How can we claim Joe Biden has ‘weaponised’ the DoJ,” a leaked memo says, “if it prosecutes his own son? We should have let the damn plea deal go through and then we could have bitched until Kingdome Come about it!”

Donald Trump said he would volunteer one of his sons for prosecution, to show he was just as honest as Joe Biden.

“Probably Eric,” he mused, “he’s been asking for a role and this is definitely one he’s up to?”