Ryanair Recognises Pilots, Still Won’t Recognise Passengers

“The day passengers organise along union lines,” a spokesman for the airline said, “is the day we’ll stop screaming at them about scratch cards and treat them like customers.”

Yesterday Ryanair passengers stuck on the runway at Stansted for six hours, complained that during this time, they were charged for water.

Afterwards a spokesman explained that CEO Michael O’Leary was “unavailable for contempt”.