Still No Takers For Musk’s Sperm, After Offer To Seed Mars Colony

Elon Musk is said to be furious there are still no takers among his SpaceX employees for the ‘free sperm’ he offered them to seed a Mars colony.

“It’s like university all over again,” the Trump ally screamed at his permanent entourage of sycophants and acolytes, “zero takers for my sperm!”

“I offered them unlimited semen,” he raged, “hot or cold – I don’t care! But still, not even one taker.”

“He once told us he wants to die on Mars,” an employee said later, speaking on condition of anonymity.

“And most of us would like to see that dream come true”.