Teenager Recalls ‘Golden Age’ Of Twitter

Teenager Dara Reynolds wistfully recalled ‘a more radical era,’ as he played an ‘old school’ fruit machine at Barney’s Casino this afternoon.

Reynolds, speaking only under the strictest conditions of anonymity, said he pitied today’s kids because they “missed out on a unique era, the early years of twitter?”

“I really mean it,” 19 year old said despairingly,  “they have no idea what it was like to be in at the birth of a new social networking movement?” 

When pushed for clarification, Dara said “Basically, it was a much more radical time. Today’s kids are so like, conformist? But we tore up everything that went before. Facebook was like, so yesterday after we came along?”

“The average teenager of today, doesn’t appreciate how anarchic it all was, back then? It was like, Wild West, frontier-style stuff?”

“For instance,” the arcade attendant observed, “I remember this one time I got taco sauce all over my jeans at the movies? And I tweeted ‘I just got taco sauce all over my jeans’ and started a trend that went on for like, at least half an hour?”

“It’s just a shame it’s all gotten so corporate now,” he lamented, before returning to work, “in my day we had much more freedom?”