The Defendant Confirms He Will Not Be Taking Part In Tonight’s Debate

“On the advice of counsel,” Donald Trump said today, “I decline to answer questions, based on my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the United States constitution”. The waiter at Versailles, a Cuban restaurant in Miami’s Little Havana district replied “Does that mean you don’t want coffee sir?”

Trump nodded to one of his aides to indicate he should answer. A practice many claim allows him to distance himself from his own orders by having others issue them for him.

A bulky man, bristling inside an ill fitting suit stepped forward.

“What’s wid all de questions kid. The Don said he don’t want no coffee. Now bead id.”

As the waiter withdrew, a reporter for the Miami Herald stepped forward. The bulky man glanced at the Don whose hooded eyes briefly closed to signal assent. “You can axe one question, lady”, the man told her.

“Mr Trump, why are you visiting Little Havana today?” the reporter asked. Trump shrugged and smiled with his mouth only, the eyes remaining as coldly reptilian as ever. The bulky man replied “Mr Trump is here to meet wid his business associates”.

As the reporter was propelled off the premises by the bulky man, she asked him why Trump was being so unusually reticent. Pushing her out the door the man muttered, “Dey got nutting on the the boss Miss but you know how tricky dem lawyers can be? Expecially when you is oud on bail”

The Trump campaign later confirmed the defendant would not be taking public questions from anyone either in debates or on the campaign trail in case prosecutors use them against him in court hearings.