The Tide Comes In Twice A Day, So A Line In The Sand Only Lasts Twelve Hours

Tory party managers have advised “all MPs” to avoid drawing lines in the sand because sand has a disturbing tendency to shift. (Hence the ancient phrase, ‘shifting sands’.) Not to mention the fact that with the tide coming in twice a day, any line drawn in the sand can only last a maximum of twelve hours.

The problem came to light when Boris Johnson’s latest line disappeared so quickly, it’s now thought he may have drawn it in quicksand. Strategists speculate this is because he didn’t have any sand to draw it in, in the first place.

This may explain the behaviour yesterday of the party’s candidate in next week’s byelection. Despite having been approved by Johnson, Helen Hurford twice refused to say if she thought he was honest. Eventually she meekly added “I really do think the PM has drawn a line in the sand?”

Later a disaffected Tory voter told a local reporter, “He hasn’t drawn a line in the sand, he’s buried his bloody head in it”.