Cowen ‘Profoundly Sorry’ He Got Caught

New agriculture minister Barry Cowen said yesterday of his 2016 drink driving ban that “no one is more sorry I got caught than I am”.

“Bad enough to drink drive,” he said ruefully, “but not to stick to the back roads? Amateurism, pure amateurism”.

Mr Cowen then promised his drinking ‘will no longer be a problem’ because as a minister, “I’ll be driven everywhere”.

“I might have a little drinks cabinet put into the car,” he mused. “Charlie used to do that. The boss was pure class!”