Town Slightly Nearer To Dublin Looks Down On Town Slightly Farther From Dublin

The residents of Birr remain steadfast in their certainty today, that being slightly closer to the capital, entitles them to look down on the nearby town of Ballinasloe.

“You have to remember Birr is a heritage town,” pensioner Mary Minihan sniffed, “whereas Ballinasloe is only a halting site”.

“It’s a bigger town, right enough is Ballinasloe,” said local publican Tadhg O’Reilly, “and they have a hospital too but Ballinasloe is 151 kilometres from Dublin whereas Birr is only 139…”

O’Reilly flatly denied that he or any other member of the Birr Chamber of Commerce had ever disparaged their neighbour in the course of an application for increased financial support from the Heritage Council.

“Specifically,” he insisted, “we never said it was an inbred, wild west shithole that doesn’t deserve the funding it already gets, for the annual bare-knuckle fist fight otherwise known as The Ballinasloe Horse Fair“.