Trump Says Richard Sackler Will Be His Drugs Czar

“Nobody knows what’s wrong with the Office of National Drug Control Policy better than Richard,” Trump said today. The former president said the Oxycontin manufacturer would be his future drugs czar, “if they don’t steal the next election from me too”.

“Richard is a really, really great guy who has built a world class brand. And despite what anyone else says, has never been criminally charged in connection with the marketing of OxyContin, or any overdose deaths involving the drug”.

Trump added “he “We haven’t received a dime yet but I expect that to change. My campaign finance is probably the most honest that’s ever been. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it before. But anything he does give is obviously non-refundable? That’s just the way it is, I don’t make the rules.”

The former president said the move was a classic poacher-turned-gamekeeper scenario that might struggle a little at first. But would “very quickly win over everyone, very, very successfully. As Richard puts it, he’s ‘The One to Start With and the One to Stay With‘.”