Trump Vows To Turn Up “Unarmed” For Battle of Wits With Kamala Harris

Appearing once again to fundamentally misunderstand a simple question, Donald Trump promised he will turn up for tomorrow night’s battle of wits with Vice President Kamala Harris, “unarmed”.

The former president appeared to be unaware of the old saying that one should never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent, meaning an idiot.

“I’ve never been in a debate where I haven’t been unarmed,” he pouted, making a face like the insanely arrogant Italian dictator, Benito Mussolini. “I’m actually known for it!”

However the former president warned he would insist on the tightest security for the event.

“Because that’s exactly the sort of stunt a Democrat would try to pull – bringing a weapon to a debate?”