Tyrants Salute Influential War Criminal Who Advised Trump

Ugly scenes took place today when news of the death of Henry Kissinger broke, as the world’s most vile tyrants competed to sing his praises.

Although long known as America’s greatest POS, Kissinger remained popular amongst tyrants and conservatives everywhere with Donald Trump describing him as, “an immense talent”.

Kissinger is widely believed to have committed and/or facilitated crimes against humanity in Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Bangladesh, Chile, Cyprus, East Timor and Argentina.

“His carpet bombing of Cambodia inspired me to get into Chechnya, Georgia and Ukraine,” said Russia’s Vladimir Putin, as he wiped a tear from one eye.

“His carpet bombing of Cambodia inspired me to get into Yemen,” smiled Saudi Arabia’s Mohammed bin Slaughter.

“His carpet bombing of Cambodia inspired me to get into tyranny,” sighed Syria’s Bashar al-Assad.

All three demanded international networks prioritise their own tribute but approved a joint statement that said “We owe Kissinger an immense debt; he led the way and showed us all what you could do if you just stuck to your guns?”