We Built This City On Rock’n’roll Defence Ruled Inadmissible In Court

A court has ruled unfounded allegations about the structural integrity of the city of San Francisco, offer no defence against liability for the collapse of a building under construction.

Judge Alex Kozinski ruled against real estate developer Joey ‘jelly beans’ Giampa who defended himself in court, insisting the fault was the city’s and not his.

Giampa said “Everyone knows this city was built on rock’n’roll, your honour?” He further asked that the lyrics of Starship’s 1985 hit,’ ‘We Built This City,’ be entered in his defence. Before Kozinski could respond, Giampa read the chorus aloud.

Marconi plays the mamba,

listen to the radio,

don’t you remember?
We built this city,

we built this city on rock’n’ roll.

Issuing an order for Giampa’s psychiatric evaluation, Kozinski said he was completely satisfied rock’n’roll was in no way to blame.

Nor, he continued, was it likely that the Italian inventor Marconi, or any other individual, had ever managed to “play the mamba”, given that the mamba is “an extremely venous snake and not a musical instrument”.

Ultimately the song’s “appalling lyrics”, Kozinski added, were “as weak as the unfortified concrete, tests had shown were used in his building’s construction”. Afterwards Giampa said he was considering an appeal to a higher court.

Asked which court that was, he replied “the court of public opinion, the highest court in the land”.

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