Wife Cancelled Date Night Even Though Husband Had Already Brushed Teeth

A serious breach of date night etiquette occurred in the Gilligan household last night, according to an anonymous local tip off from the next door neighbours. The source claimed that at the very last minute, Mrs Deirdre Gilligan broke the monthly ritual’s only inviolable rule: Thou Shalt Never Cancel Date Night.

‘Countdown’ had already begun, it was alleged, when a suddenly repulsed Mrs Gilligan cried out “In the name of God, what’s that smell?”

Early indications had been broadly positive, with all the signs pointing to the fact that “the erotic sound of Mongo shaving his shoulders” – as she subsequently told next door neighbour Marge Collentine – had worked its subtle magic.

Gilligan – a motorway toll booth operator who keeps his keys on a retractable cord on his hip – had even gone so far as to trim his nostril hair. Despite the normally workmanlike appeal of these two steps, Mrs Gilligan signalled there were some things, even personal grooming could not dispel.

Or, as she put it, “He’d been at the German sausage again, hadn’t he!”