Without The Alcohol That Prevented Him Realizing All His Ambitions, Man Discovers He No Longer Has Any Ambitions

Approaching the end of his third consecutive month without alcohol, for the first time in his adult life, 33 year old Gerry Mulready found he lacked much of the certainty that had previously defined him.

“Contrary to what my wife likes to say, sobriety does not deliver everything alcohol promises,” Mulleady said, “because I now realize my screenplay stinks and I don’t care if I ever make area manager at Insurance Ireland.

“And, outside of eating, sleeping and shitting, there is literally nothing else I want to do in life.”

“Part of me still wants to shit on the area manager’s head, I suppose,” he mused “but…even that’s fading?”