Woman Will Never Be Able To Flick Off To Holly Willoughby Again

“I can’t forgive her for throwing that rat Schofield under a bus,” Melanie Fingleton told bff Alison Joubble, “and that’s why I’ll never be able flick off to her again”. Fingleton pointed out that although she despised Schofield, she still felt his co-presenter should have stood by him.

“The same way I did my Stan that time he sent the vicar a dick pic after she invited him to ‘think about what love means’ whenever he was feeling down? I threw him out a week later when I found out he’d sent you the same pic, I know, but it’s the principle, isn’t it.”

Joubble frowned. “I thought you said it was because his home brew made him shit the bed on your anniversary?”

“Well that too, obviously” Fingleton said.

Joubble nodded thoughtfully, as she dipped a wagon wheel. “There’s nothing like a good mid morning flick though, is there?”