Women Say Vance Not “Hawk Thuah” Material

A new poll has found a majority of women say that while JD Vance is “definitely not ‘Hawk Thuah’ material”, they would still like to spit at him.

“Hawk Thuah – that’s Thai food, right?” Vance replied, only to be told it was slang for spitting to supply lubrication for an intimate act.

Vance became increasingly irate as his aides tried to explain the difference between “being spat at” and “having it spat on”.

“Are they gonna spit on it or not?” he yelled at one point, “I don’t understand!”

Bystanders said he then screamed “I call BS” before storming off.