You Can’t Handle The Truth, A Memoir By George Santos

Preview of an exclusive extract

“A lot of things have been said about me,” begins the tell-all memoir from George Santos, “unspeakable things mostly, said by people who’ve never met me. So I guess it’s time to set the record straight about how an Ivy League graduate became a congressman in a period of just three short weeks and somehow managed to inspire The Wolf of Wall Street movie along the way.”

“And while it’s true, I’ve made mistakes – mistakes I freely admit to, by the way – people have lied about me and that is not ok? I may have embellished my cv, who hasn’t? But I promise you this, I have never lied to you and I never will. That’s what I told my boss at Goldman Sach’s during my exit interview, after agreeing to take the fall for other traders’ losses.”

“But enough is enough! There has to be some accountability! So I’ve drawn a line in the sand. And to the people who persecuted and bullied me, I say, ‘This far and no further’! Because what you are reading now is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

“They say ‘It’s not about where you’ve been, it’s all about where you’re going‘. I may have voluntarily decided to retire from congress but I’m still going forward. You haven’t seen the last of George Anthony Devolder Santos yet!“

“The big news about exactly where I’m going, has to remain under wraps for now obviously. But, huge spoiler alert? All the signs are that by the time this book has been published, I’ll already have been announced as You-Know-Who’s running mate for November. Then we’ll see who’s prepared to call me George Scamtos!”

End of extract