Another Dodgy Trump Valuation, As Narrow Iowa Victory Inflated Into ‘Landslide Win’

The American media this week unquestioningly accepted a dodgy valuation from a man currently on trial for fraudulently inflating his own worth.

Former president Donald Trump jubilantly described his narrow victory of 51% in the republican party’s Iowa caucus as, a ‘landslide‘.

A White House spokeswoman said “I screamed when I saw myself in the mirror after he said that because my eyebrows were missing, but it’s ok because it turned out they were on the back of my head?“

“I’m sometimes asked,” she continued, “‘When Is A Landslide Not A landslide?’ And I always say, ‘Not when it’s a narrow victory’.”

“Another way to put it is, 51% is so far from being a landslide, it might as well be called what it actually is: a two percent margin over 49%. I mean if we had a republican president and former president Jimmy Carter ran in the Democratic caucus in Iowa, he’d probably get 51%!”