Greedy Nurses Want A Pay Rise On Top Of All The Clapping

Health Secretary Steve “Steve” Barclay has explained that when the government organised “claps for carers, it was made quite clear the clapping was meant to take the place of giving nurses a pay increase”. Barclay said ministers “clapped until their hands were raw” but never received so much as a token donation to the party’s finances.

“Now the Royal College of Nurses, which has never before gone on strike,” he thundered, “has reneged on that agreement and is holding the country hostage.” A union spokesman replied that wages have fallen so far behind the cost of living that many members have to rely on foodbanks to eat. “And by the way,” he pointed out, “the fact that we’ve never gone on strike before, is our point?

Barclay later said “The Great British public have far too much sense to allow the crisis in the NHS distract them from the very real threat, the transgenders pose to the value of their houses.”