Haley: I’m Nothing Like Trump But I Agree With Him On Every Single Thing

“If you’re tired of Donald Trump,” Nikki Haley told supporters, “vote for me because even though I’m nothing like him, I find I agree with him on absolutely everything? I’m the only candidate who can deliver change and continuity. So with me, you get a twofer!”

“At the end of the day,” she warned, “I can deliver savagery more efficiently than the madness and chaos of Circus Trump, ever could.”

“And that’s why I will continue to attack his personal morals, his age and his wealth,” Haley explained, “but none of his beliefs? It’s why I can attack him over the Capitol Riot and for lying about the election but still forgive him both. It’s a simple matter of principle.”

“I’d also like to stress how much I admire him while simultaneously looking down on him? He did a great job but now the time has come to pass the mantle of leadership on to a new generation of younger, more vicious leaders. Leaders better positioned to continue poisoning America and all our tomorrows. God bless you all!”