Polls Confirm DeSantis Has The Smell Of Piss About Him

A slew of new polls confirms what campaign insiders have been privately saying for some time: that a strong smell of ammonia now follows Ron DeSantis wherever he goes.

“Our eyes have been streaming for months?” one said. “First we called it the Eau DeSantis factor but when it became a stench, we switched to Eau Despair?”

The news broke as it became clear that Nikki Haley has overtaken ‘Meatball Ron’ in a batch of new surveys.

When asked why she thought she’d pulled ahead of him, Haley said she couldn’t say for sure but “Sometimes it seemed like the bigger his heels got, the smaller his lead became?”