The Minister For Lip Service To Broken Promises Will See You Now

The Minister For Best Practice at the Department of Doublespeak & Prevarication is to introduce a bill to make it legal to speak ill of the dead, provided no objections are received from the Guild of Undertakers by midnight tonight.

“If was the very least we could do,” the minister said, “so that’s what we did?”

Separately the Minister for Lip Service To Broken Promises is bringing a plan to cabinet to give a pay rise to politicians who can simultaneously speak out of both sides of their mouth on Ireland’s housing crisis.

“This vital skill is in high demand these days,” the minister’s social media influencer warned, “especially on TikTok where you have to be all things to everyone. For this reason there’ll be a 5% pay increase for any minister who can ignore the elephant in the room while still calling for ‘an honest debate’.”

The bill will additionally abolish the ancient Irish law stipulating that ‘Whatever you say, say nothing’. “A position,” the influencer said, “that has been this government’s policy for far too long.”

“But,” he improbably claimed, “these initiatives will silence all those who say the government won’t do anything to solve this crisis!”

(Issued by the Office for Foot Dragging and Kite Flying.)